Trying Again

Hey guys! I started a new blog so check it out https://ilettaiunefois.blogspot.com

Thanksgiving

I watched a video at school the other day, and although most of the video was him walking into the sunset as Christian music played ( I'm sure you've all seen the kind of video I'm talking about), he did make one very good point. If all we had today was what we thanked God for, what would we have?

It's actually hard to thank God for something. It is for me at least. It's so much easier to ask him for something new then to thank him for something we already have. And sometimes it's hard to see what we already have.

As a whole, we are a privileged country. But there are people out there who are in more pain than we will ever know. And it's hard to see than pain as something real, or that person as someone we should thank God for. How many times have you driven past a homeless man on the street and tried to avoid looking at him? ( and I could rant for hours about how much I hate the word Hobo but don't worry, I won't.) How many times has a friend, family member, or even complete stranger told you about the sadness in their life and you've avoided the subject? How many times has a classmate been loud and irritating so you distance because you don't want to be seen with them?

I know I'm guilty of all three of those things.

What if instead of looking the other way we said a prayer as we pass him and thank God for a wonderful human life? What if we took the time to tell that person that we're sorry and ask them if we can help, and then thank God we're able to help someone, even if it's in a small way? What if we helped that classmate by calmly helping him with work or talking to him, and then thank God for another person around us?

Of course, don't ever help someone if you think it's the wrong or dangerous thing to do! And this post is not aimed at anyone in particular! I just believe that if we tried to thank God a little more, things would be so much nicer.

So I've been looking back over my last few posts, and boy have I been preachy! I had a bunch of blog posts written out and I'm just trying to get them all up, and apparently they're all me preaching. Sorry, I promise I'll stop telling you all what to do soon and we'll go back to the ol' theater posts again.

What Girls Can Do

This post is not going to be about my feminist side telling everyone about how girls can rule the world. This post is going to be about how easy it is for a girl to drag another one down, and how much impact we can make in each others lives.

Let's face it, girls can be mean. Sure guys can be mean, but then it's over. Girls have to ruin each others lives, and they normally manage it. It's so easy for a girl to tear another one down. It's so much easier to forget about a rude comment a guy makes then it is to let go of a rude comment a girl makes. One comment about how ugly you are, or how your shoes are stupid can ruin your entire day.

Girls are so good at “complementing” someone. We can be so fake, so petty. I have had so many female friends that have come back and bit me. Girls gossip more than boys, and girls have fewer problems with totally ruining an outsiders life, pushing them out. A girl's words can cut deep, even when they are hidden in a compliment.

But there's also something special about female friends. I mean sure, my guy friends are great. But I never run to them when my crush does something stupid of cute, or when I need to fangirl over a book, or when I need to talk about what a bad day I had. There's something special about having a close knit group of female friends, something special you can't get when you hang out with boys.

Girls understand each other more than a boy will ever understand them. They truly get what's going on in each others lives, probably because they've been there themselves. And they can build each other up so easily.

Of course, it means a lot when girls caption a Instagram post full of loving words for a friend, write a blog post about them, or call on a hard day. Taking time out of your day just to focus on one person is a great thing. But the little ways you show your female friends you love them is great too. I have a friend that starts all our group chats with “Ladies”. Not a big deal right? It's just one word. But it's one word that instantly creates a bond, and shows that she isn't going to be the petty girl that drags another girl down.

Compliment the person next to you in line. Tell the old lady in church how nice her singing voice is. Write a letter to a friend full of the things you love about her, or text her when she seems to be having a good day.

Girls can drag each other down more easily than anyone else in the world. But they can also empower each other, can bring each other up.

oh and by the way, typos are a lovely thing aren't they? Reading over my blogger bio I feel the need to state that I'm not on any shows, I'm in shows. Kinda different things.

The Big Thing

The other day I went to a park with my drama class to practice our skits. We walked through town wearing feather boas and tutus to the park.

The park is in the middle, and a lot of homeless people live there. When we started to practice there were no people around the stage. Halfway through the first act I turned around and saw people sitting in the back of the audience watching. At the end of the first act a man walked over from the library. As the next act started people people started to applaud and a group of kids walked over.

And when we were done everything went back to normal.

Fame would be great. No fame but a leading role on Broadway would be great. But I think using the theater to help people, if only for a moment would be better.

For me, the best part of after a show is not the praise, but the people who come up to me and tell me that I've made them cry/laugh. Not because I think that means my acting was good enough to make them cry/laugh, but because I know that our play took them out of the real world.

Being pulled out of reality and into a play is the best feeling in the world.

Small Things

     Big things make a big impact. Everyone knows that. But it's less known that small things can make or brake your day.
     Yesterday I had my birthday party, and I received some very special cards. I loved them all, and they all mean so much to me. But there was one card that wasn't very long, just once sentence. I loved it, but reread the big letters that made such a huge impact on me over and over again. Then I looked at the small letter again and saw something that I hadn't seen before. It was signed " In most sincere love".
     The long letters mean so, so, so much to me. But the short letter means just as much because of the tiny touch my friend added to the bottom of the letter.
     Sadly it can also be tiny bad things that can ruin someone's day. This is so hard for me, because if everything is going right and it's a good day, I still can be brought down by a stranger yelling in the parking lot or someone scowling at a kid.
     People underestimate the power of small things. Hundreds and hundreds of times I've frowned at someone, or sighed at a bad time without really thinking about it. But just one frown can bring down someone's day. And a smile can lift them up.
     So try smiling at the elderly lady in Walmart. Help the kid in the library grab his book from the top shelf. Tell the artist you've never met before that his painting is beautiful. Tell the self-conscious teenage girl in McDonalds that she looks amazing in blue.
     Tell your best friend that she has a great sense of style. Tell your brother that you've never seen better handwriting.
     I'm not going to pretend for a moment that I'm any good at the good small stuff, but I want to try harder. Hopefully other people will too.

Two Years Old

On the 4th I turned 16 and this blog turned 2!!!! I'm hopefully going to post more in the next few months with the holidays and all, but sorry for the lack of posts this past year!

Another Random Theater Post

It's a really stupid idea to want to be an actress.

But I'm going for it anyway.

No, I might not make it. I might end up working at Walmart instead. But if I get one role on Broadway, or Off Broadway, or really any big theater, it will be worth it.

I love theater more than anything else I do. The feeling of being on the stage is something that is totally different than anything else I've ever experienced, and it's amazing.

Theater can change someone's life, even if they aren't on the stage themselves. Someone might be sitting in that audience at the beginning of the play with a heavy heart and not knowing what to do in their lives, but by the end of the play they can let go of whatever is in their mind weighting them down.

If I can change one persons life by a role, it's worth all the pain and the work, because I think that's what theater is supposed to do. It's supposed to help people.

So yeah, it's a stupid, stupid idea. But I don't really care.

Subscribe

     For some reason my Blogger is messed up and won't let anyone subscribe to my blogs. I'm trying to fix it, but well I'm working on it, will you all comment and let me know if you're able to subscribe or not, and if not, are you planning too? Thanks!

P.S Happy Birthday Clare!!!!!

" Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity."
-Bo Bennett

 

Today I was “helping” my youngest sister do her math. She's learning division, something I obviously learned years ago. As I was “helping” she turned to me and said “The numbers are getting smaller and smaller every time!”

“ Well yeah, that's what division does.” I said.

I didn't think anything about it, to me it was just division, something that I didn't really like and it was just another chore. For her it was something new, something exciting.

How would life be if we were able to find little things like that exciting again?

Sure, I find things exciting. And sometimes I feel like I find some things a little to exciting. Like a new eye shadow pallet, or a cast list with a small part, or a new Broadway soundtrack on my phone. But excitement is a good thing, not a bad thing. Some people try to push down excitement, everything has to be nothing. What if we were all able to find everything that should be at least a little exciting? I'm not talking about overwhelming excitement when you're eating your favorite food, but at least thinking about how nice it is, instead of just thinking it as another meal.

I'm going to be sweet sixteen this year, and I have about a million plans for a party. I still have 2 ½ months until my birthday. That's almost a fourth of a year. Does that mean I shouldn't be excited and planning?

Of course not. I'm not hurting anyone or anything, including myself. So why shouldn't I be excited? No reason.

So my challenge for you all today is to try and be excited about at least one small thing this week. At least try.

So I was looking back at my old posts, and I realized that I haven't blogged in over a month, almost two months, and I have blogged less than 30 times this entire month. I haven't been able to think of anything to post! Any ideas? Comment below!

Two Years ago

Me at 13

Me Now

 

Two years ago I was 13. Now I'm 15. 15, 13, not that big of a difference right? Wrong. I've changed  a ton in the last two years. etc.

Me Two Years Ago:
" I cant listen to things like Lana Del Ray and Panic! At The Disco! Those artists are horrible. They're sooo not ok! Better stick to Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift."

Me Today:
" THE DEATH OF A BAAAAACHELOR"
" CAUSE YOU AND I, WE WERE BORN TO DIIIIIIE!"
" I don't listen to much country actually.

Me Two Years Ago:
" I will never, ever wear shorts and my hair will stay long and down all the time."

Me Today:
" I'm not going to wear anything but shorts for the rest of the summer, and I think my hair wants cutting."

Me Two Years Ago:
" I really hope my friends don't get a boyfriend or, *shudder* I get one for years and years! And when I do I'll be the kindest person ever to him!"

Me Today:
" Yes!!! She's finally taking to him! I sure hope he asks her out. That would be awesome. Oh there goes my crush! I'll go insult him, that will make it all work out. "

Me Two Years Ago:
" I need to be in movies and be the next Jennifer Lawrence."

Me Today:
I need to be on Broadway and be the next Phillipa Soo."

Me Two Years Ago:
" I know nothing about pop culture. I mean, I'm not even keeping up on Selena Gomez and Justin Beiber. That show's you how little I care. "

Me Today:
" I honestly have no idea how I know who the current bachelorette is. But I do! Along with everything the Kardashian's are doing, and why Zayn has broken up with Gigi Hadid. Still don't care, but I know it all.'


If you actually read all through me talking about myself, I would love if you would do a post/send me a post to put on my blog about how you've changed in two years!

Ya'll should check this out!

My fry Emma helped me start a new blog! You all should totally go and subscribe... La Vie Est Belle

Goodbye Black Box Theater

     I've been acting at the Black Box Theater for almost two years now, 2/3 of the time it's been open, and it's been the best theater I've ever preformed at. The people are great, the director is great, and even though it's a small theater, it's a community. The people that come there have been to many many shows there and know the actors. I've seen people many times, talked to them, gotten to know them. All without knowing their names. But the theater closed on the last day of May.
     I'm going to really miss it. I mean, I'll still get to see the people I've preformed there with, I'm not letting go of them anytime soon! But the theater itself, it has a feeing to it. It's MY theater and my home. But not anymore.
     When I first walked in I was scared to death. I hadn't met any of my other cast members before, but most of them were old friends. I just sat in a corner, thinking that it was going to be awful, that I could never get to know these people. The girl who I was paired up with for a skit who complained about her brother the whole time we were playing. Her brother who copied everything me and his sister did for every game the whole day. The guy who awkwardly stared at me as I searched the whole theater for scissors. The huge guy that I thought hated me. The girl next year that was so much different than I was who I thought would never speak to me. The stage manager who was a sweetheart, but again, so much different than I was.
     All these people that I thought could never care about me, would never even remember me once I was gone? I now call them some of my greatest friends.
     And the people that worked at the theater... I can't begin to explain how wonderful it is to walk into a place you love, just to be greeted right away buy the people behind the counter, and then the guy in the tech booth. Then the play starts and you know everyone on the stage.
     I have felt more at home in this place in the last two years than I have at any other place ever. I'm going to really miss it.

Pre- Show panic

     AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH Jane Eyre is tonight! How can this be? I swear we just started rehearsal!!!
     If you don't already have tickets, buy them at The Black Box Theater's Website and join me! Even though I'm slightly panicking, it's going to be amazing. This is the last show at the Black Box Theater, and it would be great if we could fill the shows!
     (Ya, I believe that everyone that could read this is already coming but still...)

Helen Burns

Helen Burns
By, Ruth Anna P.

I'm one of the voices inside of your head,
Reminding you someday you too will be dead.

I won't ever leave not even at night,
But I won't leave you alone to deal with your fright.

There are others here with me inside of your head,
Pushing you pushing until you are dead.

I'll watch them for you all alone in the night,
Whenever they crawl out and give you a fright.

One day the other voices left your head,
Leaving you behind as good as dead.

But I will stay with you through day and night,
I won't let him fill your head with stories and fright.

Again I'm the only voice inside of your head,
And I will stand by you until you are dead.

Thousands of whispers haunt you every night,
But now I won't try to shield you from fright.

There's another voice creeping into your head,
Calling you waiting until she is dead.

He's whispering your name all through the night,
And you leaving me behind has given me a fright. 

Forgive me,
I really tried.

Please understand,
I thought I was right.

 

Dear World

Dear World,
     Hi. We haven't sat down and had a real talk in a while. Quite frankly, I'm really tired of you. Sure, we've had good times, but it seems like those mostly ended a few years ago when I was little.
     Just a quick reminder, I'm only 15 years old. I don't need to have to have my life figured out. I don't need to be constantly working and running around. I don't have to be worried about how I'm going to pay for an apartment that I don't even own yet, and how I'm going to work in a job I don't even have.
     I honestly just don't care at all about some of the things you seem to find so important. I may not look like a model, but that's cool by me. I'm not on my way to Harvard, because that's not something that's important to me at all. I don't have a boyfriend, mostly because I don't need one at 15. You care a lot about these things, and you seem to be pressing these things on me all the time. I have other, better things to care about.
     I have amazing friends, who I love sooo much. I wouldn't give them up for the world. I have created so many memories with them that I will never forget, and I will remember them for the rest of my life. I don't know what I would do without them. I adore them, and they're worth so much more to me than Harvard.
    I love acting, and I've worked on theater for so long and hard that I'm getting places. I'm Helen in Jane Eyre right now, one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite books. I adore the people I'm in it with, and I love the theater I'm in it at. I would rather do this than look like a model.
     My room is lovely. I like my clothing style. I'm learning how to do my makeup, hair, and nails better. I have skills that I love, but you would never choose for me. I would rather have all these things than a boyfriend any day.
     So even though knowing you is nice, the pressure needs to stop. And you know what? I won't give up. I won't give in to you.
     Later!
- Ruth Anna <3 ( And probably a lot of other people that feel the same way.)

What Really Matters

     I'm going to hold off on posting the second day of the contest for now, because only 1 1/2 people have entered! Spread the word for me guys! And FYI if you're already subscribed to my blog, you can still enter down in the comments.
     I'm also sorry for all the acting posts. I just don't know what else to do! Let me now down in the comments if you have any other ideas for a post, acting or otherwise.
     Any without further ado, on with the post!



     The applause at the end of a show is amazing. It's even more amazing when the applause gets louder when you bow. It's something you will always remember. But that's not what about acting that really changes me.
     What really matters to me are the people that come up to me after the show and tell me how well I did. The people that I see sobbing in the audience as I recite my lines. The people that come up to me later and tell me how wonderful their day is now, or how our show helped them with something.
     What matters to me is the true laughter, or tears, or gasps that interrupt the show. Whenever I sit in a theater than I forget all that's going on in the real world, and I only think of the show. And whenever I'm onstage and hear a true sound of emotion coming from the audience, I can know that I've made a change.
     What matters to me is the other people in the show and the times backstage. When you're in the middle of the show, you're practically living in the theater, and everyone else in the cast is too. Everyone is tired and shoved together in a small space. Everyone gets slightly insane, and so you get to know the other people very well. And you'll always remember those times, and those wonderful people.
      Singing backstage.
      The flowers.
      The emotion that you feel.
      Getting to know your character.
      The interpretive dances backstage.
      Meeting everyone else onstage over and over and over again.
      The times when you know everyone else's lines and you've memorized the whole play.
      Carrying your script around with you everywhere.
      Building the play and watching it come to life.

    

I don't even know what I'm doing here. Why am I here? This was a bad idea.

My cue is five scenes away, so I have better go get in my place in the wing. It's never too early!

Oh wait, am I in the right place? Have I missed my cue? What is the meaning of life?

Oh no. I can't remember my lines.

That's it guys. I'm done for. Goodbye cruel world.

Here's my cue! Aaaaaand, here we go.

OWWWW! Lights in my eyes!

Why do so many people get worried about tripping? I've never tripp... Oh wait, never mind.

My life is over.

I should just leave.

AAAAHHHH

Oh wait, no one noticed.

And, first line.

Dang! That was good! Wow! I'm an actress right now!

Second line IN THE BAAAAAG!

I've got this.

Oops, got too cocky. There goes all my focus and ability.

This is bad.

Why is talking so hard? Blub, am I right guys?

They laughed! They like me, they really like me!

Done with my first scene, and yeah, it was great!

Never mind, I think it was pretty stupid really.

Nope! Now go for it again!

These shoes hurt.

I think my makeup is melting off my face it's so hot in this costume.

KILLED IT!

I'm going to Broadway guys.

I'm the next Bernadette Peters.

Oh. Oops. Never mind.

Wait, what? It's over? NO! This can't truly be happening!

Please, nooooo!

Why do you hate me world!

The clapping! It got louder!

I love this so much.

This is my life.

Opening Night/ Contest

First of- Our Town was today. And it was amazing. Thank you guys soooo much! I'm probably going to do a longer and better post tomorrow, but it's late and I'm tired.

So I would like to gain followers if possible, so I'm starting a contest. It's super easy. All you have to do is follow me by email (look to the side, it's a little bar) or already be following and then comment on this post what you think the best prize for winning this contest. Remember, I don't know some of you in person, so I can't make it something IRL. And remember to be reasonable. The person who's idea I like the least gets dropped, and then we'll go on like this once a week until everyone but one is gone and I have the perfect prize idea. Because right now I have no ideas for a prize. Sound good? Spread the word through my very small circle of followers. Good luck!

things i don't even find embarrassing anymore acting edition

1. Sitting in the monkey house at the zoo writing character back stories well everyone stares at me.
2. Getting mad at people that diss Broadway
3. Wearing full stage makeup out. Yep, poorly blended age lines and all.
4. Announcing to everyone in goodwill that i "cant wear the same thing to Emilys funeral as her Wedding"
5. Sweat stains on costumes. Those lights are hot.
6. All things that i might say during tec week. Im just slightly crazy then.
7. The high notes from Phantom of the Opera that i fail at. In public.
8. Everyone's faces when i tell them that i like acting. A lot.
9. Being able to quote plays word for word that ive never even seen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 
     Happy birthday to the best friend EVER, Dr. Elemis Potts. Or Bucky. Or Watsina. Or the Stage Manager. Or whatever. Emily. That one.
     I can't believe I've known you for so long now, and at the same time I can't believe that I haven't known you for longer. It feels like forever, when it's probably only been six years. How crazy is that? It feels like it's been so much longer!
     We've done so much together over those six years though! This last year, our tip to Creede was amazing! I can't wait to do it again this year. Going to plays, walking in the river, drinking coffee, and staying up until at least two A.M every morning we were there talking about, well, everything. Watching Harvey and being scared to death when my elbow accidentally hit the door, and being convinced that we were about to be killed by a giant rabbit. Creede was super fun, and one of the highlights of my summer.
     Another highlight was As You Like it. That was so much fun, and again, you were there the entire time. The whole thing was fun, from the auditions to the movie after and then the sleepover, to the actual practice, to the performance and the trip to Sonic after. I loved it!
     Cowgirl Cookie and Snickerdoodle! Pointing to the book and finding all of the people in the book that “looked” like characters in the play. I think that we really irritated Mrs. Lexi at first because we were so insane. But it was amazing.
     Our birthday parties... me, you, and Emma have had some seriously amazing times at mine, and everyone has had some amazing times at yours. Tradition is insane, how did we all even come up with any of those ideas? I mean really, how? The answer of course, is that we're totally insane, that's how. And that insaneness (yes, that's now a word) just becomes more insane when we're together.
     Our late night talks are crazy too. I honestly don't know how you could make me scared of a giant red tomato with gleaming eyes and teeth in the middle of the night, but you managed it. Every time we have a sleepover we stay up suuuuuper late, and I would say that's a good thing. I love them, even though they start to make so sense.
     Our awkward conversations are always great, even if they are awkward. You don't judge me when I tell you something awkward, and I won't judge you. With almost any other friend, I wouldn't be able to tell them anything about my love life, because I would feel like they would be hating me the whole time and I would feel bad. But with you it's totally ok. You understand and I love that.
     We have so many inside jokes, I can't even remember half of them. And for some reason no one seems to find them as funny as we do... But they're amazing. Thank you for walking the wrong way with me. It was fun.
     I think half the play's I've been in sense I met you have been with you, from the Pilgrim Play we both hated, to Cowgirl Cookie where we both have a great time, to As You Like It which was one of my favorite plays EVER! These were all sooooo fun with you! I loved having you there through all of them, someone that I knew so well. And yes, we are Kate and Constance. That needs to happen!
     Walking down the street, no one would think we could be friends, we're both so different. But knowing you, I totally get why I love you so much. You're so sweet and kind to everyone. You have a great sense of humor. You're pretty. You're an amazing actress. You are all around one of the greatest people that I have ever met. I'm so blessed to have met you and be able to get to know you as one of the greatest friends I have ever had. Some of the best moments of my life have been with you, and many, many, many more small moments that I will never forget.
     I adore you, and I'm so glad we're friends. Happy 15th birthday!